Kick in the Ass

Instead of the Tip of the Day, we give you a KICK IN THE ASS.

Therefore, you will not make this mistake yourself

 

 

Heart Attack and Water 

I asked my cardiologist why I urinate so often once I go to bed. He said gravity holds water in the lower part of the body when you upright. When you lie down the water seeks a level with the kidneys and it is then the kidneys remove the water, as it is easier to do so; thus, more urination at night.

 

When my dad was ninety years old, the doctor asked him for a urine sample, a stool sample, and a semen sample, so he left his underwear and went home.

Dad told the doctor there is something wrong; every morning I urine at 7 AM and defecate at 8 AM. Doc said, “What’s wrong with that.” Dad replied, “I don’t get out of bed until 9 AM.

Most people may be aware that we need a minimum of water to help flush the toxins out of our body and to maximize its effectiveness on the body there are more correct times to drink it.

 

UPON WAKING UP

                Two glasses of water helps activate the internal organs

 

30 MINUTES BEFORE EACH MEAL

                8 Ounces of water aids digestion

 

BEFORE BATHING OR SHOWERING

                One glass of water helps to lower blood pressure (unless you shower with a friend)

 

PRIOR TO BED

                8 ounces avoids stroke or heart attack

 

REMEMBER THIS:

One glass of water equals 8 ounces. Measure it once and you will see it is not that much; and you can drink it slowly, you do not have to swallow it down in one big gulp (that’s only at 7/11)

 

Twelve years ago, Tom, a longtime friend of mine’s wife needed a kidney and he was a perfect match. I had lunch with him not long ago and asked if there were any complications and he said only one. “Whenever I drink, she has to pee.”

 

Tom was a successful afternoon drive time radio personality for three decades on the number one FM radio station in Detroit playing oldies music and telling jokes, he  portrayed Santa Clause with great dignity in the Detroit Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade for twenty years and, was a hit on a local TV station as Count Scary (Detroiters remember him well). The humor in all this is that he thinks he is funny.